Why Stay Silent?

http://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/01/why-so-many-victims-of-sexual-harassment-stay-silent-still/266820/



It's been a bit more than twenty years since I worked for the Animal.  Animal is the term we used for him.  Why did we call him the Animal?  Because he behaved like one.  I'd never seen a man so constantly grab his crotch area through his jeans and maneuver his junk.  This Chairman and CEO would scream at the top of his lungs about any minor detail (a busy phone line, a 10 cent discrepancy on a bill for reimbursement, a five second delay in a ringing phone line, etc.)..  He'd throw a tantrum if someone ate one of his cookies, and most importantly, dominated everyone around him with his aggression and power.  This is not to mention his vulgar and disgusting behavior of a sexual nature, which I won't go into now.

Yet, what is the reason that we never came forward? 

I still have difficulty writing anything about those two years.  It's as if the trauma is so deeply ingrained, that to bring it all up again would create more anger and frustration about my silence during the term of Harassment.

I recall one incident vividly that happened not too long after I began working at the Studio.  The incident didn't even involve the Animal directly, but his Co-Chairman and Co-CEO.  The incident was even more despicable, in my mind at the time, ironically, because I didn't even work for the Animal's partner, yet he too thought he could harass. 

It was a regular morning in the Executive Offices of the movie studio.  I was running out of the Animal's office to perform some task he'd assigned in his office the second before.  As I walked past the front reception desk on the way to my office, his partner, his co-Chairman and co-CEO, slapped my behind.  I was confused, shocked, humiliated, embarassed and objectified.  I had left the door open to the Animal's office when I'd left, and instinctively turned around to see if I'd get any look of sympathy or support from my boss, and if in fact the Animal  had seen his partner touch my bottom.  He had, and I saw the smirk on his face, almost like he was thinking, "Gosh, I wish I'd done that."  Then, as the butt-smacker walked toward the Animal's office for his meeting, he yelled out, "Honey, those pants are too tight."

The angry feeling I had felt a moment earlier disappeared.  All of the sudden, I thought, "Shit, it's my fault, my pants are too tight."  I went from being the victim to the perpetrator in less than ten seconds. 

I was no longer angry at the men who were treating me like a two bit hooker, I was mad at myself.   I shouldn't have worn those cream colored slacks.  How crazy of me to dress in fitting slacks with a nice blouse to work.  I brought his behavior upon myself. 

This was how they got you.  Their manipulative tactics, so subtle, yet so effective. 

Clearly, there were many other reasons to refrain from reporting the pervasive abuse that took place.  However, when you work for the big boss, there is, one most likely feels, nowhere to turn.  That was how I felt then.  I know now how wrong I was.